If you know me, and most of you do, you would know that prior to this year, I was very... what's the word? Chicken? Many stories were held that motherhood wasn't for me. In the plan; Dan and I traveling endlessly and effortlessly to exotic places far, far, and away.
A little being has a different plan for us.
We were not trying. I repeat, not trying for this to happen. Dan was actually a bit disappointed to know we conceived the one time we let our guard down. He thought that at the very least we could enjoy a journey of intimacy through multiple romps of intention.
I let go of being in control of this type of miracle. (still working on the others)
Pictured here, Shaelah and I holding up our dear teacher, Janet Stone. (who does all of the holding with the exception of this photo) From Janet, a blossoming began. Truly it is like a mirror of self-reflection through the practice and study of yoga with Janet in a way that only she can offer. She is a strong Mom. She is a radiant Mom. She has ignited a spark within me to reflect and to let go of... shit.
She has ignited a spark within me to reflect and let go....
This little being inside of me is so blessed. They are so loved. From the moment the pregnancy was confirmed, they began to be my biggest teacher.
As I blog, the belly is growing... and the hips, the thighs... oh my! I'm about to Incredible Hulk these lululemon pants, oh dear!
As I write this at 15 weeks, 5 days, I feel completely amazing. Never better. (The first few months were not fun but, I made it.)
What's great about this to me is that, I can pass the torch!
Perhaps someone with their good-ju-ju's can complete the training and teach for me.
I see this lineage of yoga that incorporates flow with bhakti chants and the love, surrender and vibrancy as a ripple.
This ripple is infinite and carries on through you and you, you, you, you, all of you on this path.
To you, the one who ((((( OM ))))))'s and, to you, the one who lip-syncs.
You carry the torch that lights the path and you bring your unique and special way of seeing this practice. Leading the training is not something that I think "I'm doing". That is not in my nature at all. This is a collaboration and a gathering of beings who each in their own way, bring something special.
I happen to be highly organized, crazy stay up all night when I have an idea or project, very motivated and thrilled, inspired, delighted to be the one to hold the space for all of us to grow, love, and just be who we are.
I have no idea what this journey of motherhood will look like but, I do know that nature is perfect and that there is a divine plan that has already been decided. I am not in control. I do not drive the bus on this journey. Over and over again, life in it's many ways, through another being perhaps-- has shown me that the plan has already been decided.
Surrender she said.
Have it your way, life.
I surrender, I bow, I honor the forces of nature, the divine in you and me, every being everywhere.
Om gam ganapataye namaha!